Abdul Abulbul Amir

"Abdul Abulbul Amir" is the most common name for a music-hall song written in 1877 (during the Russo-Turkish War) under the title "Abdulla Bulbul Ameer" by Percy French, and subsequently altered and popularized by a variety of other writers and performers. It tells the story of two valiant heroes—the titular Abdulla, fighting for the Turks, and his foe (originally named Ivan Potschjinsky Skidar in French's version), a Russian warrior—who encounter one another, engage in verbal boasting, and are drawn into a duel in which both perish.

Percy French wrote the song in 1877 for a smoking concert while studying at Trinity College Dublin. It was likely a comic opera spoof. "Pot Skivers" were the chambermaids at the college, thus Ivan "Potschjinski" Skivar would be a less than noble prince, and as Bulbul is an Arabic dialectic name of the nightingale, Abdul was thus a foppish "nightingale" amir (prince).

The names of the principal characters have been transcribed in a variety of ways in different versions of the lyrics. The title character's last name appears as both "Ameer" and "Amir", and the syllable break between his first and middle names varies from version to version (originally "Abdulla Bulbul", as seen below, but often rendered as "Abdul Abulbul").

His Russian opponent's name has been more drastically modified over time. First given as "Ivan Potschjinski Skidar", the character is perhaps best known today as "Ivan Skavinsky Skivar", with considerable variation in the spelling of both the middle and last names.

A great many versions of the lyrics exist, with the names of the principal characters spelled in a variety of ways. The following, presented by French's biographer James N. Healy, appears to be the most authoritative available text. According to Healy, French sold his rights in the song for five pounds while failing to register his copyright to it, and subsequently discovered that a London publisher had produced an altered and unauthorized version which failed to identify French as the author.

Oh, the sons of the Prophet are hardy and grim And quite unaccustomed to fear But none were so reckless of life or of limb As Abdulla Bulbul Ameer. When they wanted a man to encourage the van Or to harass the foe in the rear Or to take a redoubt they would always send out For Abdulla Bulbul Ameer. There are heroes in plenty, and well known to fame In the ranks that were led by the Czar, But the bravest of all was a man by the name Of Ivan Potschjinski Skidar. He could imitate Toole, play Euchre and Pool And perform on the Spanish guitar. In fact quite the cream of the Muscovite team Was Ivan Potschjinski Skidar. One morning the Russian had shouldered his gun And assumed his most truculent sneer And was walking down town when he happened to run Into Abdulla Bulbul Ameer. "Young man," says Bulbul, "can your life be so dull That you're anxious to end your career?— For, infidel, know—you have trod on the toe Of Abdulla Bulbul Ameer". "Take your ultimate look upon sunshine and brook, Make your latest remarks on the war; Which I mean to imply you're going to die, Mr. Count Cask-o-whisky Cigar." Said the Russian, "My friend, my remarks in the end Would avail you but little, I fear, For you'll never survive to repeat them alive, Mr. Abdulla Bulbul Ameer." Then the bold Mameluke drew his trusty chiboque And shouted "Il Allah Akbar" And being intent upon slaughter, he went For Ivan Potschjinski Skidar. But just as his knife had abstracted his life (In fact he was shouting "Huzza!") He felt himself struck by that subtle Calmuck, Count Ivan Potschjinski Skidar. The Consul drove up in his red-crested fly To give the survivor a cheer, He arrived just in time to exchange a goodbye With Abdulla Bulbul Ameer. And Skobeleff, Gourko and Gorsechekoff too Drove up on the Emperor's car But all they could do was cry "och-whilliloo!" With Ivan Potschjinski Skidar. There's a grave where the waves of the Blue Danube roll, And on it in characters clear Is: "Stranger, remember to pray for the soul Of Abdulla Bulbul Ameer." A Muscovite maiden her vigil doth keep By the light of the true lover's star And the name that she murmurs so sadly in sleep Is Ivan Potschjinski Skidar.

Various versions varied to a greater or lesser degree from French's original. For instance, the lyric in the 1896 New Harvard Songbook makes several changes including the names of the principals:

The sons of the Prophet were hardy and bold And quite unaccustomed to fear, But the bravest of all, at least so I am told, Was Abdulah Bul Bul Ameer. If you wanted a man to encourage the van, Or harass the foe from the rear, Or to storm a redoubt, you had but to shout For Abdulah Bul Bul Ameer. There were heroes in plenty and men known to fame In the army then led by the Czar, But not of more fame than a man by the name Of Ivan Petrovsky Skavar. He could imitate Irving, tell fortunes with cards, He could play on the Spanish guitar. In fact quite the cream of the Muscovite team Was Ivan Petrovsky Skavar. One day this bold Russian had shouldered his gun And with his most cynical sneer, Was looking for fun when he happened to run Upon Abdulah Bul Bul Ameer. "Young man" said Bul Bul "is existence so dull That you're anxious to end your career? For, infidel, know, you have trod on the toe Of Abdulah Bul Bul Ameer." "So take your last look upon sunshine and brook Send your regrets to the Czar; By which I imply you are going to die, Mr. Ivan Petrovsky Skavar." Then this bold Marmaduke [sic] drew his trusty skibouk, Crying "Allah, il Allah, Allah" And on slaughter intent, he ferociously went For Ivan Petrovsky Skavar. On a stone by the banks where the Danube doth roll Inscribed in characters clear, Is "Stranger, remember to pray for the soul Of Abdulah Bul Bul Ameer." A Muscovite maiden her sad vigil keeps, In her home by the cold Northern Star, And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps, Is Ivan Petrovsky Skavar.

An obscene parody version of the song, in which Abdul and Ivan engage in a competition regarding who can have sex with more prostitutes in a given time, originated in the British military and is traditionally sung in rugby clubs.

Although there is substantial variation depending on the exact version of the song being sung, the lyrics are generally along the lines of:

The harems of Egypt are fine to behold And the harlots are lovely and fair But the fairest, a Greek, was wed to a sheikh Called Abdul Abulbul Amir. A travelling brothel came into the town 'Twas run privately by the Tsar Who wagered a buck that no-one could out-fuck Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar. The peasants did shout The announcement came out In an ad in the Gulf Gazeteer And plunged into debt To get in their bet On Abdul Abulbul Amir For Abdul would ride With his bride by his side His face all flushed with desire He had it decried That he could out-ride Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar It was only the Jews Who wagered he'd lose They believed that the prince was a queer But the rest of the Persians Would believe no perversions Of Abdul Abulbul Amir Count Ivan agreed Prince Abdul agreed To compete in the city's bazaar Ten merchants were shot to secure a clear spot For Abdul and Ivan Skavar A day was arranged for the spectacle great 'Twas agreed on by Sultan and Tsar And the streets were all lined with harlots entwined 'Round Abdul and Ivan Skavar The Sultan rode by with a wide open fly Expecting the harlots to cheer But all eyes were fixed On the two massive pricks Of Ivan and Abdul Amir Tsar Petrovich too Attended the do With a telescope watched from afar While one of his band wanked him off in the sand As a tribute to Ivan Skavar They stood at the track with their cocks hanging slack The starter's gun punctured the air Both were quick on the rise, the crowd gaped at the size Of Ivan and Abdul Amir The harlots were shorn No Frenchies were worn Abdul's arse revved up like a car But he couldn't compete With the slow steady beat Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar Now Ivan had won and was cleaning his gun And bent down to polish his pair When he felt something pass Up his big hairy arse 'Twas Abdul Abulbul Amir The harlots turned green, the men shouted 'Queen!' They were ordered apart by the Tsar Twas bloody bad luck, for Abdul was stuck Up Ivan Skavinsky Skavar They needed a crane A tow truck and chain To rescue the unfortunate queer Ivan said in a huff 'I've had quite enough Of Abdul Abulbul Amir!' Now the cream of the joke It came when they broke 'Twas laughed at for years by the Shah For Abdul the fool Had left half of his tool In the arse of Skavinsky Skavar Upon Persian men Old Abdul ranks high Best ran 'neath the pale Southern star For he shagged to a standstill The pride of the East Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar The sad Grecian maiden her long vigil keeps With a husband whose tastes have turned queer With the nights growing long, she longs for the dong Of Abdul Abulbul Amir The moral, my friend Of this pitiful end Is plain for all to hear When seeking your bit Don't get stuck in the shit Like Abdul Abulbul Amir...

The song was adapted in 1941 into an MGM cartoon, Abdul the Bulbul-Ameer, with Fred Quimby producing and direction by Hugh Harman. Voice acting for the nine-minute cartoon was provided by Cliff Nazarro, Harry Stanton, Leon Belasco and Hans Conried, while Frank Crumit wrote new lyrics. It features caricatures of Groucho Marx, Lou Costello and Al Ritz as news reporters.

In this version, Abdul is depicted as a bully who picks on Ivan's dwarf friend, provoking Ivan into treading on the Turk's toe. He has many traits of 1930s and 1940s cartoon villains, such as Bluto, including thick lips, a beard and a big belly. There is a brief swordfight, which soon changes into a brawl, that ends with Ivan and Abdul literally "out cold", after falling through a frozen lake and emerging frozen in a pillar of ice thanks to Ivan's friend who planted a bomb on Abdul and it is unknown if they are being thawed or not. The relatively sympathetic depiction of the Russian character is unlikely to have had any connection to then-current world events, as the cartoon was in production in 1940, and was released in February 1941, before the invasion of the USSR by Nazi Germany, and before the alliance with the UK, in June 1941.

In the 1980s Whitbread brewery adapted the song using their own lyrics for a series of commercials on British television, suggesting that the two protagonists were great fans of their Whitbread Best beer who squabbled over trivialities such as what type of glassware to drink it from, because they had forgotten that "the best Best needs no etiquette". The commercials starred Stephen Fry as Ivan, Tony Cosmo as Abdul, Tim McInnerny and Roy Castle, and were directed by Paul Weiland.

A variant of the poem appeared in an ad for Springmaid cotton sheets in Life magazine, 7 January 1952.

In the film Tiger Shark (1932) directed by Howard Hawks and starring Edward G. Robinson, a loose adaptation of Moby Dick, the fishermen of San Diego are depicted singing the song.

In the closing scene of the 1937 film The Devil's Playground, Richard Dix (Jack Dorgan) and Chester Morris (Robert Mason) are singing verses while riding a rickshaw in China.

The comic strip Alley Oop featured the fight in a 1956 storyline, from 3–21 December. In it, Alley fights on Abdul's behalf; however, during the fight, Abdul runs away with the coffee girl. Alley and Ivan therefore stop fighting to make more coffee, but Alley is whisked away via time-machine (the sight of which sends Ivan fleeing in panic). The puzzled onlookers realize that no one will believe what actually happened, and they decide to say instead that the two original combatants, Abdul and Ivan, fought to the death.

Bing Crosby included the song in a medley on his album 101 Gang Songs (1961).

In the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Brothers", the character Lore is heard singing verses of the song as he murders Noonien Soong, commenting "I've always loved that old ditty".